With the baseball season heading into it’s last two months, I think I will pick an American League or two to support en route to the playoffs. Note, the Yankees are disqualified from the get go because they’re the Yankees. Let’s look at the candidates:
I’ll root for them until they’re out of it
Tampa Bay Rays
Stadium: Hate (probably the worst stadium in the majors)
Fanbase: The second worst in baseball
Guys I like: David Price, Evan Longoria, Ben Zobrist, Jeremy Hellickson, Alex Cobb, Matt Joyce
Dumbasses: Yunel Escobar (today he got thrown out for arguing a called strike when his team was already leading 3-1)
World Series chance: They’re probably not making the playoffs, they’re still two games below .500. But, but if they do make it, they’ll be scorching hot and have dirty pitching. They won again today, now 11 out of 12. Really, I can watch them every day in the panhandle.
Kansas City Royals
Stadium: Love (one of the most underrated parks)
Fanbase: Long suffering and loyal, but starting to get an annoying Cubs like vibe
Guys I like: James Shields, Jarrod Dyson, Lorenzo Cain, Alcides Escobar, Salvador Perez, Yordano Ventura, Aaron Crowe
Dumbass: Don’t have one
World Series Chance: They don’t hit well enough or pitch well enough. They’re probably not making the playoffs.
They spend too much money
Los Angeles Angels
Fanbase: Decent if a little spoiled by consistent success
Guys I like: Albert Pujols, David Freese, Mike Trout, Howie Kendrick, Garrett Richards, Kole Calhoun
Dumbass: Josh Hamilton (Oh I can’t hit because of my blue eyes)
World Series Chance: A lot of pundits like them to win it all, which makes me want to watch them lose even more.
Stadium: Love (one of my favorites)
Fanbase: Haven’t won since 1984 and have come really close over the last 10 years
Guys I like: Ian Kinsler, Max Scherzer, Justin Verlander, Joe Nathan, Joakim Soria, Torii Hunter, Austin Jackson
Dumbass: Miguel Cabrera (Although he’s the greatest hitter on the planet he is also an all-star drunk driver)
World Series Chance: This might be the most balanced team in the majors, flying under the radar because of consistent success.
Fanbase: Very good, totally deserve a winner
Guys I like: King Felix, Robinson Cano, Endy Chavez
Dumbass: Fernando Rodney (cue AP and Trout making fun of the arrow shoot)
World Series chance: Looking at their roster, I have no idea how they’re above .500
Toronto Blue Jays
Fanbase: Very good if slightly ambivalent
Guys I like: Mark Buehrle, RA Dickey, JA Happ
Dumbasses: Melky Cabrera (steroid suspension), Colby Rasmus (gets traded from Cardinals because of complaints from his Dad and then the Redbirds win the World Series)
World Series Chance: It’s a bad sign when I don’t like any of their position players. I don’t have anything against Jose Bautista but I don’t like him.
The Top Two
Fanbase: Pretty good if slightly ambivalent
Guys I like: Yoenis Cespedes, Josh Donaldson, Josh Reddick, Coco Crisp, Scott Kazmir, Luke Gregerson, Sean Doolittle
Dumbass: Don’t have one
World Series Chance: I’m still not sure how they’re doing this, but I will definitely root for them to win the AL West and make it to the ALCS.
Guys I like: Chris Davis, Manny Machado, Adam Jones, JJ Hardy, Bud Norris, Chris Tillman, Zach Britton, Matt Wieters, Nick Markakis
Dumbasses: Machado, Nelson Cruz (PED suspension)
World Series Chance: Their pitching is iffy at best but their lineup is very good.
That’s the ALCS I’m rooting for and if it happens we all win.